People shouldn’t have to vaccinate their kids. In fact, parents absolutely know what’s best for their kids in every situation, which is why you’ve never heard of a mom calling a doctor at two AM because her child has a fever. Moms automatically know exactly what to do. They know better than anyone what their child needs or doesn’t need. When a woman conceives a child, the entirety of human knowledge is written into her essence and as that child is brought forth unto this world, that knowledge flowers in her mommy brain and every decision she makes for her child is absolutely the right, and only right decision. That’s why the vaccination debate is so ridiculous to me…because moms inherently know more than everyone.
So here are 5 Reasons To NOT Vaccinate Your Kids.
1. You don’t like them, anyway.
I get it. Some kids are just born a little more awful than others. So if your plan is to not vaccinate your kid in hopes that they’ll catch some horrible virus that’ll off them so you can start over, sure. That makes total sense. It’s evil, and disgusting, and I hope you get a million fire ant bites, but hey, the good news is that’s less likely to happen to you than your child catching something deadly because you’re an inherent dumb-dumb.
2. You’re more scared of big scientific sounding words than you are of viruses that have killed millions upon millions of people.
I get it! Vaccines have a lot of big, scary words. And, some of the ingredients in vaccines have been linked to carcinogenic risks and I bet even a very eensy teensy tiny portion of the population might be allergic to some of the ingredients and they might have a bad reaction. Know what? That’s why the doctor keeps you at the office for 15 minutes after your child receives a vaccine. That way if they react, the doctor can fix it. Nifty set up, huh? And as for the scary words, know what other scientific word kills people? Dihydrogen monoxide. And yet you still put it into your body every single day. So put away your dictionary, and stop freaking out over words that you maybe don’t understand.
3. You believe all internet memes are true.
“Gandhi was against vaccines. A mother flipping meme told me so.” Yeah, I’ve seen that meme. And I’ve looked it up. And you know what he compared vaccines to? Eating beef. Vaccines are as bad as eating beef because cows and all life is sacred. So here’s where that comes from: the small pox vaccine was derived from cows infected with cow pox. Which means that every person who received a small pox vaccine was being given a small amount of cow. I can definitely understand why a man whose religion holds cows as sacred would be against being injected with one. But unless you, too, are a fruitarian (which he was), perhaps you should put down your Big Mac and go get your kids their freakin’ vaccines.
4. You’d rather your children build their immunity to things like polio and measles naturally…just like you did.
Oh, wait. You didn’t have polio did you. Know why? ‘CAUSE YOUR PARENTS GOT YOU VACCINATED!
5. You know more about vaccines from that one article you read online than your pediatrician knows after eight years of higher education and thousands of hours of study.
I’ll just let the people in this video address that one…
Look, I understand that I don’t live in your house, I’ve not experienced your life and I certainly can’t judge you for your parenting choices. But I’m going to anyway. Not getting your children vaccinated is really stupid. Like, it’s really stupid. It makes me furious and makes the blood in my veins boil with hatred toward you for putting your children in such a vulnerable and dangerous position. And if it just affected YOUR children, I might even be able to hold back my vitriol; but, it doesn’t. Your infected child can infect a child who is too young to be vaccinated. Your child can infect a child who is fighting cancer, or whose immunity has been compromised by something else entirely out of their control. YOUR child can act as a walking time bomb and spread illnesses that haven’t been around for years all because the idea of giving them a medically sound shot scares you. Your child deserves better. Get your kids vaccinated. Don’t be that parent that we all hate.
Jamie’s Note: To those parents who can’t vaccinate because their child is immunocompromised, or allergic, etc. this obviously isn’t directed at you. In fact, you should be the most pissed off at the people who don’t vaccinate their perfectly healthy children– because that is how your children stay safe!